Did you shutdown the qube before trying to change the memory?
You want to use external monitor in dom0?
Maybe the external monitor port is wired directly to dGPU so if you passthrough dGPU to the qube then you won’t be able to use external monitor in dom0.
But you can try to passthrough iGPU to the qube instead of dGPU and use dGPU in dom0, then you may be able to use external monitor in dom0.
You can use virtualgl in your qube with GPU passthrough so you won’t need separate monitor for it: